The ugliness I'm referring to is all the drama I go through to get this lovely kind of wisdom. For me, at this very moment, my cup overfloweth...Let me explain. I can't seem to make a single decision right now without cringing and doubting and wavering. I have soooo many decisions to make, some of them big, and some of them small. Umm, hello, I'm a mom; so I'm sure maaaaany of you know can relate.
"Mommy what's for breakfast?" (uh, I don't know yet, oh know, it's starting!)
"What are we doing today, can we go swimming?"
"Are we having swim lessons this summer?"
"Are we staying at this gym or going to another one?"
"Can we please go play in the front?"
"Can I have some gum or candy?"
"May I play on the computer? or the phone? or watch a movie, or turn on a cd?"
"Can I play in the water area at the zoo?"
"Have you chosen the lights yet for the kitchen? or the knobs?"
"Do you want that shelf here or here? or not at all?"
"Did you chose a paint color?"
"Are we homeschooling next year?"
Okay, perhaps you get the idea. I can only handle so much! Just the other day at the pool, when the kids asked, "Can we get in now?" I furrowed my brow and said, "Ask your dad, I can't make another decision today!"
Maybe I should just say "yes" to everything my kids ask, or "no" for that matter, and simplify. Or maybe I should be better about scheduling our meals so they are predictable and all I have to do is look at the list (hey wait a minute, who am I kidding, our refrigerator is in the living room right now!) Or maybe I should not be so picky about the silly light fixtures!
Or maybe, just maybe, God has answers in His word to all, even all, of my tiniest worries. And that's why I'm thrilled to be studying James, hoping to learn wisdom in making even the littlest decision. I mean, why wouldn't I want to makes decisions that are "pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy."
"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God,
who gives to all liberally and without reproach,