It's easy to trust God when things are clear, your ducks are all lined up in a row, the door is clearly opened or closed, and all that. It's easy to trust God when the wind isn't blowing, you know what I mean? Kinda like when I'm driving my kids the thirty minutes to school in clear, good weather, I almost sail there, without even thinking about how God was protecting me all the way. But when the weather gets bad, the wind is fighting my car all the way, then I'm quivering and shaking, trying to trust God to get us there all in one piece.
I'm finding that life is like that right now. The winds of change are blowing all around us--lots of change in different aspects of our life. And while I'm confident God is directing us, I'm not necessarily sure of where we are going. I feel like we are walking a path that hasn't been forged yet (although it totally has). My heart is tender, quivery, shaky; I tear up at the drop of a hat, or a Hallmark commercial. I feel unsettled, unstable, sort of unsure of my footing. And yet, I have this hope that God is going to make everything clear in His timing.
I'm learning to trust God, even when I don't necessarily feel at peace with all of it. I'm learning that God is my strength, He is the sure thing, and He totally knows. And I'm learning to rest in His leading, and not in my flaky, indecisive, doubtful, changing heart.
Psalm 143:8 and 10 say,
"Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, for in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, for I lift up my soul to You...
Teach me to do Your will, for you are my God; Your spirit is good. Lead me in the land of uprightness."