Satisfaction

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about a woman's sense of accomplishment; the feeling we get at the end of the day, when we look back and decide whether our day was a success, or a failure. Surely, you know what I mean...the moment you head for the shower after all the kids are in bed, and the quiet settles in, and you start to recount all the things you *didn't* get done, all the ways you were not-so-cheerful to your family, or maybe how your day at work was full of road blocks.  Or maybe it's just me...

I was thinking about all this as I prepared a little devotional for a sweet friend who was about to deliver baby #2. So, I dug through my old journals and found the year and months when my #2 was born, way back in 2006...And what did I find, but those same feelings--overwhelmed at life's responsibilities, the never ending checklist that never gets checked, and the burden of feeling like I had no prayer life, except for the quick meal time/bed time prayers I prayed with my children. I was dealing with those same feelings of not being able to see results of my day's work, and being discouraged (or just feeling stressed because I had a constipated baby!!!)



But what is God's perspective on these thoughts--what does God want me to do with these feelings? How does He want me to view my work, my personal sense of satisfaction?

Getting to the heart of this involves asking a first question, "Who's approval am I after?" My own? My husband's? My children's? The other woman who seems to have it all together?

2 Corinthians 5:9 says, 

"Therefore, we make it our aim...

to be well pleasing to Him."

  

I need to preach this to myself, and keep it in perspective, that my aim is to be pleasing to the Lord, not to man, or myself. It truly never satisfies if I'm trying to gain my own approval, or someone else's. Ultimately, I want my life to be pleasing to the Lord. It’s not about me, it’s about Him. So often I have to remember to turn my eyes off of myself and onto Jesus,  remembering that He is the God of my salvation, Christ’s righteousness covers me, and I am approved of by God because of the accomplished work of Christ on the cross, not my outward accomplishments.

Isn't that comforting? Yes, turn from your sins, the ones that plague you day in and day out, and work hard on them. Yes, do your earthly work, and seek to do it well. But ultimately, remember that if you have repented and turned to Him for salvation, then you are approved of because of Him, and Him only, not based on anything you have done or will do. It's all of Him, and none of me. 

Take this to heart momma, wife, single lady, at the beginning and end of everyday...

(and there's more, but I'll save it for another post...)

Combatting the Attack

For those of you who feel that you are under spiritual attack, here are some Scriptures to encourage you for the fight...it's a battle out there--Satan wants your heart to pull away from God, to focus on the earthly, the suffering, the mundane. But God wants our hearts to have an eternal perspective...

2 Corinthians 4: 16-18,

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Philippians 1:29, "For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake..."

1Peter 1:5a we "are kept by the power of God."

Now go thee out and start your Monday...

what happens when a little boy gets ahold of fingernail polish...

Deep Grooves

So it's like this: following Jesus leaves deep grooves in your life...in your heart, in your home, in your relationships, in your family...you name it.

Usually I shy away from analogies...but something just keeps coming back to me. Some time ago, Luke and I were moving a rather large item through our house, from the back door all the way through to the front door. It was huge and heavy--but it had wheels, so it seemed like it would roll on through and leave no mark behind. Well, not quite--we have the two indented, curvy little paths along our wood floor to prove it. Deep Grooves.

And the purpose behind the movement of this rather large item was Gospel-centerred. It was a small detail in the midst of many other details of the day working together to live out the Gospel in front of our community, our neighbors, our friends. It was a practical step that would help in our endeavors to love others, and to hopefully have an impact for the Gospel. But it left it's mark.

Really, it's a physical reminder to me that living out the Gospel in front of the people nearest to us isn't easy. It involves risk, self-sacrifice, "feeling the pinch." Sometimes it involves leaving everything you know and love in this world behind to reach people in a completely different country with the Gospel. Usually, it involves staying where you are, and loving Jesus in front of those people you see every day--adorning the Gospel, living out it's truths in a beautiful way, speaking the truth, giving up your time, your resources, your comfort zone. And why? Because Jesus is lovely, we love Jesus, and we want others to love Him too.

But it leaves its mark, its scar, its deep groove. And it's good.

Don't Give Up!

Putting forth the effort of reaching out to people who don't want to be reached out to can be disheartening. The temptation can definitely be to give up. Believe me, I'm faced with this daily. Our next door neighbor is one of those very people. She was friendly enough when we first moved in, but somewhere along the way, she decided never talk to any of her neighbors again, much less look at them or wave hello.

My poor children don't understand why she won't say "hello" in return. I can't quite understand it either. I tell them that she is rejecting our love for her. Over the Christmas season, we baked and delivered goodies to all of our neighbors. Her door was the last door we knocked on, and I warned the children that she probably wouldn't answer. But we tried anyway, and then layed our card and package down on the front chair, saying loudly, "Merry Christmas. We are leaving you a treat!" I also warned them that she might return the gift (as she has done before), and sure enough, the next day the loaf of coffee cake and card were on our front porch.

Needless to say, I've wanted to give up multiple times, thinking, "Well, we tried, and it's her choice to reject our love. We're done." But for the simple fact that Jesus would never do that. The Bible tells us to "not lose heart in well-doing," and "to run the race with endurance," and to "love your neighbor as yourself," not to mention, "love your enemies." Maybe an even closer example is the way we reject Jesus's love for us before He saves us.

So, if you (as I am) are growing weary of doing good, don't. Our reward hardly ever is seen this side of heaven, and who knows what good might come from our perseverance, right? I can only hope that someday our dear little sad neighbor will come to the knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. And I'd hate to look back and know that I had given up on her.

maybe peeking on our neighbors isn't the best way to win them...
just kidding...this isn't our neighbor, it's someone else's! and there was
a bouncy house on the other side, people! 

*as a side note, but certainly important--my "doing good" to my neighbor means nothing and will count for nothing, apart from the grace of the Lord and his salvation. The Bible clearly teaches that none of us can "do good," so in no way am I proclaiming a works-based salvation. This desire to love and do good to others is merely a fruit, a result, of God's saving and changing work on our hearts. But it takes a concerted effort, to say the least!

More Thoughts on Parenting

God's Word is refreshing, enlightening, wholesome, encouraging, full of hope, life-giving, gentle (and harsh at the same time), convicting, and so much more. When I sit down to read the Word and my heart is set on learning something, God always teaches me. Sometimes it's sweet and perfect for a trial I'm going through; sometimes it's challenging but encouraging at the same time; sometimes it's eye-opening and convicting, probing change in my life; and sometimes it's pure joy and refreshment, like a cool glass of water on a sunny Texas day. So, it's beautiful with its variety and depth and breadth; and even more so for the way it leads us to Christ and to marvel at His beauty. And if God's Word is this way, how much more is God Himself this way?

So imagine all of the above, and think about what happens when your children speak to you, approach you, at any time of the day, for whatever reason, in any sort of attitude (fussy, sweet, argumentative, tearful, etc.). Imagine that they need you, or that they don't need you, or that they should need you, or that they don't want to need you. Imagine that they've really messed up somehow, and consequences will surely follow. How does your response compare to the way God responds to us?

I was struck by these thoughts recently when I realized that sometimes I make it much harder on my children than God does on me. I think about how I read Scripture and am convicted about a personal sin, and how comforting and encouraging God's Word is to me. He calls for repentance, yet gives me such hope in the process that I feel invigorated to make changes and turn from my sins (and this scenario has to happen again, and again, and again, and often for the very same sin!)

But could my children say the same thing about me? Do I give them hope in the process? Is dealing with sin and its consequences worse with me than it would be with God? Does my tone and attitude line up with how God's Word treats me?

Often I fall short. I want my children to find comfort and hope in the living God. I want them to know that He hates sin and demands repentance and change. But I want them to know that we should never be afraid when approaching God, because He is quick to forgive and give us the tools to change.

And I want them to feel the same way about me.

Thoughts on Parenting

Having children is a blessing. Children are a blessing. Children are delightful, and wonderful, and sweet and amazing little people, and I love them.

But can we be honest with each other and say that along with all this blessing and delight comes a sin nature? And I'm not just talking about our children's sin nature. I'm talking about mine! Having children has certainly opened my eyes to realize what sins in my life are way worse than I ever thought before. For example, before I had children, I never would have claimed to anyone that I had a short temper. Well, that's because no one ever tested me on it! Now, I'm tested on it pretty much every day, all day long! And let me just tell you, I have a short temper (but by the grace of God, I'm working on it!).

All this to say, when I am parenting, sometimes it's super easy for me to focus on all the weaknesses of my little ones--their bad habits and rude behavior, for example--when sometimes I just need to take a closer look at myself and my own sin, and work from there. I mean, wouldn't you agree that it's easier to point out other people's flaws than to really and truly look at your own? Well, it is for me.

So, this has been the challenge for me lately--having less of a critical eye on my children, and more of a critical eye on myself. Making sure that I'm honoring the Lord with my thoughts and reactions, and dealing with them when I'm not. When I find myself nitpicking my children, I find myself ignoring my own sins that need desperate help from the Lord. And then I'm just misusing the authority God has given me.

Preferences, Number 2

Okay, so I'm pretty sure the wait for this post is probably not worth it, but oh well. Let me just say that potty training a little boy is a whole new ball game, but we'll save that for another post...

I could write many posts (and I have) on this issue, but none of them are coming out right. So the following is my abbreviated version (and yes, it's still kind of long)...

First...The story I told in the previous post may have more to do with doctrine than preferences, but the point for me was this: whether preference or doctrine, I still need to make sure I'm loving the body of Christ and others, and that the banner I'm carrying is for Jesus, and not just for a doctrine or conviction. I need to make sure I'm not compromising on the big stuff, but also not looking down in judgment on those that are still working their way through new doctrines or convictions. God is at work, and we are all in different stages of that work, right?

Next...on the issue of preferences (i.e., personal choices and convictions that are not clearly delineated for us in God's Word); let me give you some examples (not exhaustive) taken from my pastor's sermon series entitled "Thinking Biblically, Living Graciously" (which I highly recommend you listen to here).

~Entertainment: what movies should I watch/ is TV or cable okay/ what about playing cards or pool/ computer games/ video games, etc...
~ Exterior Personal Appearance: what should I wear/ how about jewelry/ make-up/ hair--to dye or not to dye, highlight/ (I'll add: body piercing, tattoos)
~ Music: what kind of music is okay/ what about the type of music in a worship service-hymns or choruses, worship team or not
~ Parenting: will it be dating, or courting, or betrothal...:)/ "time-out" or not
~ Education: how should I educate my child? homeschool, private school, public school, military school,
~Birth Control: yay or nay/ what kind
~Birthing Options: hospital/ at home/ at a birthing center/ in a car (just kidding)
~Medical Issues: Life support/ Immunizations
~Politics: should I be a democrat or a republican/ should I say the pledge of allegiance
~Holidays: santa? Halloween? easter bunny?
~Food: what foods should I eat...raw or cooked? processed or not? etc...
~Environmental issues: are you green, or light green, or neither
~Money: how much debt is okay/ savings/ giving/

So I'm just giving you this short list to give you an idea of the decisions we all make day in and day out, that are preferences and personal convictions, but that may not be clearly stated in Scripture.

"What's the point?" you may ask? To help us evaluate our convictions in light of Scripture, and to make sure we are being careful not to lift up our own preferences in such a way that we are insisting it is the Godly standard for everyone. 

Some Scriptures you may refer to are: Romans 8-9 and 1 Corinthians 8, to start (you will find many more that are encouraging in these areas as you begin to look into it).

I'll leave you with one final quote from my pastor,
"If we spoke as much about the Gospel as we do about our personal opinions, we'd have a great impact. I suggest to you that's what we need to do."

Preferences, Part 1

(an introduction to a series having to do with preferences and convictions, and how they affect our lives...)

I've told several people this story over the years, and even though it's been 10 years since it happened, I still get a little choked up. It's one of those "I wish I had..." memories. The memory of a regret that I can do nothing about, except learn from it.

The day I graduated from college, I remember sitting on the corner of my bed and crying. It had sort of hit me all in one moment that I had sacrificed something in college for the sake of something else. See, there had been a turning point for me religiously, if you will, the end of my freshman year, where God had changed my heart in regard to a certain Biblical doctrine. After this change, I started to separate myself from the friends I had up to that point, merely because they were on the opposite side of the fence in this doctrinal issue.  My excuse was simply that I wanted to associate with like minded people, have deeper conversations, etc. But reflecting upon it three years later, I knew I had been wrong.

The newfound belief was good; I believed it with all of my heart. But in reality, I was judging my friends for not having the kind of knowledge I had. And I started to see them not as people to love and grow with, to toss ideas around with, to challenge, to encourage; I saw them as getting in the way of my own growth, and I saw them in some ways as lower than myself spiritually, because they hadn't come to the same revelation.

And more than that, I realized I had elevated a personal conviction above my love for Jesus. My life was more about the conviction itself, and less about Jesus; spreading my love for Jesus, and obeying His call to love God, love others, and go make disciples.

more to come....

The Mundane

I started off the day today early, with a little boy who thought it was time to wake up first at 4:30 am, and finally at 5:30 am. So I made the most of it and got into the Word. And now I'm chuckling over how the spiritual meets the mundane--how my heart and mind can be wrapped up in God's word, and in the next moment I'm knee deep in life. For me the mundane today is potty training. Yep, I'm attempting it. I have no idea how this will go, but as we speak Landis is wearing his cute Thomas the Train undies. And I have to keep insisting he call them "undies," since his sisters wear "panties" so that's what he keeps saying.

So in this earthly day, I leave you with a verse the girls and I have been discussing, and one I've been praying for Naomi, and for myself...

Psalm 119: 57, "You are my portion, O LORD."

from the trenches

My heart keeps wanting to write an encouraging post, something uplifting for you mommies, wives, and women out there living real life...but I keep getting stuck. That's so sad, right? I think I've been hit with a case of the "realities," and it's easy to get bogged down by it; you know, the self-pitying thoughts that can so easily rage through our souls as women...So here's coming to you from the trenches, loosely controlled thoughts that often times wander around the confines of my heart (not to worry, the encouragement will come at the end...)
~ my kids don't appreciate the way I love them
~ how come they always imitate my bad habits, and never my good ones?
~ why do cats have to poop too?
~ how many pairs of shoes does my husband own, anyway? and ties, seriously?
~ nothing I do matters, it all has to be done again tomorrow anyway
~ why won't God just answer my prayer right now and make the baby go back to sleep?
~ can't what I "want" ever match up with what I "need"?
~ why even bother being nice to the children, they only notice when I'm grumpy
~ no wonder so many women work outside the home, when they get home their house is in the same shape they left it...

come on, you know you've thought at least one of these thoughts before, keep it real...

Be Still and Know, the LORD is on Your Side....

and then this song starts playing, and I'm soothed, comforted, relaxed. God is doing a work, indeed. He's been revealing Himself to me, and revealing my sin in my daily life, and in my attitudes and actions in my family life. But in the midst of the battle (and it is, isn't it?), God is on your side. If you are trusting in Him as your Saviour, He is on your side. What a comfort! We aren't battling God, we are battling our sin, and satan's desire to keep us from God. 

So take comfort, sweet ladies, rest in Him. Be steadfast in Him, firm in your faith. Believe He is doing His perfect will, and obey Him. 

just a little dress-up to brighten your day

Wisdom, in all it's ugliness...

No, of course wisdom, the wisdom from Above, is not ugly. In fact, it's quite lovely; it is "first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy." (James 3:17) When was the last time you thought of wisdom like that?

The ugliness I'm referring to is all the drama I go through to get this lovely kind of wisdom. For me, at this very moment, my cup overfloweth...Let me explain. I can't seem to make a single decision right now without cringing and doubting and wavering. I have soooo many decisions to make, some of them big, and some of them small. Umm, hello, I'm a mom; so I'm sure maaaaany of you know can relate.

For example:
"Mommy what's for breakfast?" (uh, I don't know yet, oh know, it's starting!)
"What are we doing today, can we go swimming?"
"Are we having swim lessons this summer?"
"Are we staying at this gym or going to another one?"
"Can we please go play in the front?"
"Can I have some gum or candy?"
"May I play on the computer? or the phone? or watch a movie, or turn on a cd?"
"Can I play in the water area at the zoo?"
"Have you chosen the lights yet for the kitchen? or the knobs?"
"Do you want that shelf here or here? or not at all?"
"Did you chose a paint color?"
"Are we homeschooling next year?"

Okay, perhaps you get the idea. I can only handle so much! Just the other day at the pool, when the kids asked, "Can we get in now?" I furrowed my brow and said, "Ask your dad, I can't make another decision today!"

Maybe I should just say "yes" to everything my kids ask, or "no" for that matter, and simplify. Or maybe I should be better about scheduling our meals so they are predictable and all I have to do is look at the list (hey wait a minute, who am I kidding, our refrigerator is in the living room right now!) Or maybe I should not be so picky about the silly light fixtures!

Or maybe, just maybe, God has answers in His word to all, even all, of my tiniest worries. And that's why I'm thrilled to be studying James, hoping to learn wisdom in making even the littlest decision. I mean, why wouldn't I want to makes decisions that are "pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy."

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, 

who gives to all liberally and without reproach, 

and it will be given to him." James 1:5

Landis has decisions too..."hmmm, should I go
through this door, or not?"

It's an Off Day

Everything about today has seemed off. My alarm didn't go off--at least I don't think it did, but I'm suspicious that I turned it off in a groggy state of unconsciousness. Hence, no Bible reading, early morning sipping of coffee, feeling of preparedness for the pitter patter of feet as they hit the floor running. No, it was me fixing breakfast in my PJ's, or rather, telling Julia how much cereal to pour (cooking breakfast is her new excitement in life). It was me trailing behind Landis and collecting his spilled cheerios, chasing him down with his shoes before he ran outside, confiscating the bug spray that he was sucking on behind my back, and packing up the rest of my utensils into a big box. So today, may I say it again, is an off day.

I'm sure many things have contributed to this, one of the main things being that our kitchen is going "under destruction," tomorrow, as Amaleah likes to call it. So my pantry is in my living room, and don't ask me where everything else is (I'm not sure myself). Of course, I could have gone to bed earlier last night, and therefore may have been alert enough to hear my alarm this morning.

But if I'm true to the truth, mostly I think it was the lack of being in God's Word. Seriously, I have felt myself falling back on my own strength for things today, things like parenting with a gentle and kind spirit. I felt myself literally having to pull those somewhat kind and slightly gently words out of the depths of my soul when I was speaking to one of my children about something this morning. And it dawned on me how much I have grown to depend on the Lord for the details of my life, and how when I abandon His Word I truly can feel it (although, truth be known, He definitely has not abandoned me, whatsoever).

A little devotional for you, from a verse that was mentioned to me by my dear sister in law...

"...walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with 

joy; giving thanks to the Father..."

(Colossians 1: 10-12a)

So...what this means for you and me, simplified:

1) grow in Him (read the Word--don't give up on it)

2) KNOW that you as a believer in Christ are filled with His glorious power (the Holy Spirit!)...awesome.

3) that power is strong enough to give you patience (to face the circumstances) and longsuffering (with people) and joy (through it all).

4) Be thankful....period.

Gospel Conversations

I'm feeling challenged lately to mold the conversations I have with others into Gospel-centered conversations. Admittedly, I don't think I'm very good at this gospel conversation thing...yet. But God is faithful, and I know He's pushing me to greater things.

Along with the conversations I have with women about our day to day life, which is important and necessary, I'm realizing it needs to be seasoned purposefully with reflections on God. I can certainly go a whole day with the church without ever having asked anyone what God is teaching them lately. Does this ever happen to you?

Some questions I've come up with to help me (and hopefully you) get a start on the idea of digging deeper into each other's lives are:
1)What has God been teaching you this week?
2)What ways can I specifically pray for you?
3)What are you reading these days? (from the Bible, or other books)
4)How has the Gospel been impacting you lately?

just to name a few...and really, so far that's all I've got. We can help each other out in this area, right? Give each other good ideas for conversations, and then dive in and use them. So here I am, posting these ideas...now I've got to use them.

But as I've been thinking through this, I realized that if I'm going to ask a personal question of others, I need to be ready to answer the same question!

Gospel conversations with Naomi...a blessing

Those who are with young...

For all those mommies out there who might be...
~ nursing your family back to health after a week of sickness 
~struggling with exhaustion
~at the brink of losing all your patience, or worse yet, losing your temper 
~tripping over mounds of laundry 
~tired of serving and eating bananas, rice, applesauce, toast, and potatoes
~missing out on quiet moments with the Lord

Isaiah 40:11,

"He will feed His flock like a shepherd; 

He will gather the lambs with His arm, 

and carry them in His bosom, and 

gently lead those who are with young."

I'm sure you guessed that this was me last week, and when I did capture one quiet moment to open up the Word, seriously this is what the Lord showed me.  And yes, while I'm not necessarily an advocate of this method of reading Scripture, I literally opened the Bible to this page and here it was.  And I was comforted.  And that is all I needed for that very moment.  

Julia's sick mat

God Walks With Us

Lately, I've been going through a women's study of the book of Job. We are searching out the Scriptures and looking at Job and his friends--the good, the bad, and the ugly.  It's been so good to see how this study is coinciding with life; how God teaches His truth in the midst of our own daily living, and how it often intersects with our Biblical study.

Recently, my local Christian community has been contemplating repentance and God's forgiveness.  It seems to be a theme, at least in my neck of the woods (hmmm..a theme in the Bible too?) And in light of circumstances and trials that happen all around us, just like Job's, whether it be a child's serious illness, financial crisis, a natural disaster, or straight up and up sin that leaves devastating consequences, I've been pondering how it all relates in light of God's goodness and the hope we have in Him.

And He brought some light to my burdened thoughts this morning. God will never leave us or forsake us! And that stays the same, even after a believer sins. We confess, He forgives. And then what? Sometimes those sins come with very traumatic consequences, with very real and evident effects. But it amazes me that through that, while God allows the consequences, He walks through them with us. It's such a beautiful picture to me to realize that God, the one who we've ultimately sinned against, forgives us and walks with us in the mess.  We cry out to Him, and He answers us.


It reminds me of a sweet sight I saw not long ago, when a parent and child, previously separated by sin, walked along together hand in hand. Oh what love the Father has for us! He walks hand in hand with us even after the mess we make.

So I am praising God today as I see His beauty and the promises He's made for us in His Word. I hope that brings comfort to you too, wherever you may be in your spiritual journey.





Hebrews 13:5b, "For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Psalm 55:22, "Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved."

Challenges

Aunt Mercy was in town...thus, a fashion photo shoot.

They had a blast posing or "not posing" for Mercy

This morning, with my Bible, coffee, and favorite blanket in hand, I snuggled down in my usual 6 am spot.  These times with the Lord have been so refreshing; I look forward to them and treasure them dearly.  And as usual, it was good and rich.  I'm participating in a study of Job this year, and have definitely been challenged to look at my "suffering" through the eyes of Jesus; to be reminded of His suffering, and of his righteous response to it.  And it's been so valuable to study passages of Scripture that bring God's truth into perspective in regards to our trials.  

But I'm realizing that His challenge, nay "trial" for me right now is with one child in particular.  She has always been a challenge, in the midst of her darlingness.  But lately in particular it has been quite difficult.  Thus, once again, the morning had barely begun when I was facing a moment with her, and I sent her to wait in our designated discussion room.

First, I retreated to the bathroom for a brief moment of tears and crying out to God.   And He flashed before my eyes the very passages I had read this morning (from Mark 14:25-15:39),  about Jesus' sufferings and those that betrayed Him (like Peter), and how even though He loved them, they abandoned Him.  He reminded me that I am one of those people, and He still loves me and showers me with grace.  He encouraged me to be to my daughter what Christ is to me.

So I wiped my tears, and faced the challenge before me.  And as usual, I shared the Gospel with her, with variations from my reading today about Peter.  And though my words may not have been received with a humble heart, I know God was with me, strengthening me in my weakness, encouraging me to persevere.

Mercy took this one, and I adore it!

New Year, Clean Slate?

It's the end of the first week of the New Year, and I'm realizing I had high hopes for this week.  Hopes I hadn't even spoken aloud.  They just came along with the feeling that a new year brings a fresh start, a clean slate.  But nothing seemed to be different this week.  And for the most part, that is good news. My children are healthy, our home is warm, we are blessed.  

But in my heart there was turmoil.  Monday rolled along, and I was dealing with the same things:  willful, disobedient attitudes in my children, imperfect homeschooling, and a messy house.  I don't know what I was thinking, of course these things don't magically change! Maybe it's the information the world feeds us; you know, the idea that we can make our life perfect, control our surroundings, and we can start it on January 1st. 

My heart was troubled, deeply.  I had obviously put too much stock in what my circumstance bring to life, and had not been focusing on what the Lord brings to my life. He is my rock, He is my fortress.  I can turn to Him in the midst of earthly challenges, and I can find rest. He makes everything new.  Not my resolutions, not my children, not the books I read or the house that's always clean.  It's Him.  He is the "new" in my life.  Everyday!  

So I am challenged to face each day with the newness that Christ brings, and to take the life God chose for me and be diligent with it.  To

 "make it my aim, whether present or absent, to be pleasing to Him,"   

2 Corinthians 5:9

and when trouble comes, which it will every day, remember what it says in Isaiah 40: 28-31,

"Have you not known?  Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary.  His understanding is unsearchable.  He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength.  Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." 

Feeling the Pinch

Recently, a missionary from Africa spoke to our church on Hebrews 11 and what it means to be a person of faith. God really used his message to convict me of sin and neglect in my life, in my home, my ministry, my love for others, my eternal perspective. It was a tearful day, but it is sweet to see how God's grace shines through and brings comfort in the midst of conviction. God used it to encourage me to take heart and accept the challenge He brings to my life as I seek to walk in light of His Word.

But reality settles in and I wonder, "How do I go from feeling very convicted, to making life changes, when I wake up the next day and everything seems the same?" I almost felt that day that everyone should be talking about it, that my world should be shaken, turned upside down and twisted into the proper shape. But that didn't happen, doesn't happen. You wake up and life is the same. So I puzzle over how to incorporate new convictions into every day life.

For me the phrase that keeps coming to mind is "feeling the pinch." How can I feel the pinch for the Lord? You know, serve Him until it hurts. Get out of my comfort zone; stretch myself; be okay with little sleep, late nights, uncomfortable visits with hurting people; allow my schedule to change even if it means dealing with a fussy baby; figure out how to get the estranged neighbor to feel loved and important, for new ways to share God's light with her; sacrifice material things to help others. To "be doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves," (James 1:22). Really, to keep the eternal perspective at the forefront and remember that we are aliens on this earth and to stop feeling like this world is home, "waiting for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God," Hebrews 11:9.

Are you feeling the pinch?

Your Yet Unborn Grandchildren

Someone asked my recently about a conference I went to a few years ago, and after telling her about it, I began to relive the passion I felt after being there, and as I pulled out my old notes, I got all excited again. So I thought I'd share some of the vision with you, for that's what it was all about!

Have you ever truly thought about why we teach our children to obey and love God? Of course it's because we love Him, and we desire our children's salvation. But before I went to the Children Desiring God conference in Minneapolis, I didn't necessarily think about the responsibilities we have for future generations, as set forth for us in the Bible. David and Sallie Michael, the authors of the amazing Sunday School curriculum Children Desiring God, began the conference with a seminar about Vision.

This vision is "to spread a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples." It's about pursuing the joy of the next generation, which includes our own children, the children in our local church, the children of the universal church (all over the world), and the children of future generations, those yet unborn (that part in and of itself gives me chills!). It is a "radical and well articulated vision" that is called for, not just teaching our children to "know" about God, or facts from the Bible, but to "love" what is true, to love all those facts with a deep and resolute passion.

In regards to Sunday school, the Michaels shared their deep burden that many,

many churches are just providing "something" for the children, which usually amounts to babysitting while the parents are at church. But is that enough? No! This is the future generation we're talking about! This is crucial to spreading the passionate pursuit of our Almighty God; the challenge is to "aim children at something more than just 'something.' " (Psalm 127:4, "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth.")

But this vision isn't just for Sunday school teachers right? They are merely helpers to family, and the main vision should start with us as mothers and fathers. Psalm 78:1-11 is an amazing passage which completely explains this vision.

Verses 4, 6-7 say, "We will not hide them (sayings of old) from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done...That the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children, that they may set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments..."

We want them to delight in doing what is right, to set their hope in God (which is more than just knowing facts, right?), to obey because of that hope, to look at us and see us hoping and obeying, and to put their confidence in God, so that the future generations (Our grandchildren, and great grandchildren! Crazy, huh?) will worship Him.

So mommies, go out today and make His glory known, in your words, your life, your love, your obedience...remembering that it's for now, and later...for future generations!

My little arrows, and representatives of the universal church...

It's the Little Things

Julia turned 4 just a couple of weeks ago, and by the time the week was over I was (sad to say) glad, because I think all the attention was going to the poor little dear's head! But to finish off the week, the Lord planned a very special little happening in our house...a sweet answer to prayer.

Upon turning 4, Julia (with much eager anticipation) got to rifle through the Birthday treasure chest at church, and came home with the much longed after pink flashlight. Oh the joy! Oh the delight! Oh the light in the dark! She even wanted to sleep with it (and you mommies out there know where that would lead..."I see you Amaleah, can you see me?")

But as all good things sometimes come to an end, the little flashlight was "lost" the very next day, and broke that same little dear's heart. A mommy can take this as an opportunity for lots of little lessons: 1) that's why we need to remember "everything in its place"; 2) all of our material things will pass away and rot, but God's Word lasts forever; or 3) God knows where everything is, so it's not lost to Him, and He cares about even the little things in your life.

Option 3 is the one I chose and here is how the story unfolds...

All through the day Julia wanted to find it, and I kept reminding her to pray about it, and she would not. And all through the day I seriously felt God impressing on me that she would not find it until she prayed for it, and that I needed to encourage her to do this. Near the end of the day, we looked in the van, and I once again asked Julia if she had prayed, because God knows where everything is. "No, but I will now Mommy. Dear Lord, please help me to find my flashlight. In Jesus Name, Amen."

What happened next was about 10 seconds later, I kid you not. We walked inside, I asked her if she had tucked it into any pocket, the "light bulb" went on and she (and all of us girls) ran excitedly to the closet where she pulled out the coat and dug around in the pocket, and pulled out the beloved flash light.

"Julia! God answers prayers! He knew where it was! Thank Him! Thank Him!"

And so we did. I'm not sure who's heart was more encouraged, her's or mine. But no matter. God got the glory! He cares about the details of life, no matter how seemingly insignificant they are, in order that we might see Him and His faithfulness and His control over all things.

Julia and Daddy having a little fun with our iphoto booth!

P.S. The little flashlight is once again "lost."